A poet is, before anything else, a who is passionately in love with language, and poem can have an impact, but you can't expect an audience to understand all the nuances.


My memory poem
I was 5 years old

I wanted to go out

I saw little kids playing

I asked my mom to go out

I went out to play

I heard kids saying bad words

I didn't know they were saying

I started saying it with them

I went home

I called my sister a bitch

I looked scared when my mom heard me

I started crying when mom yelled at me

I was not able to go out by myself

I learned a lesson

I learned that I should not repeat what I hear outside at home.


+I like the repition of 'I
+ The sentences are short and to the point
?More imagery
?More description.

+Go technique of repeating I
+Shows the story very clearly with short lines
+I like the last line, it explains the whole poems and ties it together
?What was your sister's reaction whenyou called her that



Ode to my Pen

You’re always lost

Why you keep hiding

Every time I need you

I have to look for you

Ask for you

I know some of

You’re hiding places

My pocket

Between my book

I guess you like to read

I like you

You have so many outfits

Pink

Yellow

Green

Blue

Black

Red

Purple

If I had to pick a favorite

You look nice in blue

Eat more

You’re to skinny

You hurt my fingers

And when I am upset

You’re the one that helps me get my feeling out

I hate when you just stop writing

Why?

So I throw you out

Sorry..

You mean a lot to me

I won't give you to anybody

Unless you stop working

And when I do I make sure you come back to me

Honesty,

I don’t know what I would do with out you

Wait I know

Nothing

You became a big part

Of my life

I don’t ever want to lose you

Thanks for being there for me .


+ Nice description and different parts

? Want to break this into stanzas?
? Any larger, deeper ideas that you want to bring in? About expression overall maybe?

+Nice decription I like the whole your hid in my books i guess you like to read.
?You said you give your pen to your friends then say you don't you should reread that
?What is the larger Idea



Found poem : bully me .

come on

you drawling

i mean

why you gatta be like that

your acting like a bitch

why you walk like that

why you talk like that

Exercising is good

grow up

you kinda have to

you need help

your not ready thought

leave him alone

dont be insane .

I was raised by poem:
I was inspired by Barbie

She made me love pink

Pink dresses

Pink shoes

Pink room

Everything pink

I wanted to be like her

Act like her

And talk like her

The first time I saw her

She took my breath away

I knew I wanted to grow up , taking her looks, her acts , gentleness and her kind heart.

I looked up to you!

I used to sleep thinking about being a Barbie girl in a Barbie word

I lived in a Barbie fantasy

I grow up to think

That life was going to be fool of music, fool of clothes, fool of happiness and fool of love.

Barbie always looked happy

And I thought if I grow up fallowing her steps

I would be happy too

well..I

Barbie you ruined me !

I didn’t think reality would hit me that hard until it did

I had to make a change

I had to grow up from my fantasy

And realize its just a dream

And that the word we live in now

needs a human not a barbie.

I was changed by life !


+I like how you started off
+ I like how you go onto what specific things barbie had that you wanted
+I like what the poem is about
? You ned=ed more metaphors and details
? You need to go onto more of the emotion of why you wanted to be baribie
? Talk more details on how it ruiend your life give examples
? Your a great writter so you can make this line
I used to sleep thinking about being a Barbie girl in a Barbie word Better

+ Great descriptions!
+ Nice ending section -- I think you can continue to develop and strengthen this.
? Want to add more about the five senses?
? Want to try out a repeated line? (I was inspired by, I was changed by...)


It's over

Even as it comes out of my mouth,
I can't understand what I am saying,
I can't believe that I am saying it.

It's over,

I repeat it just for me to have an understanding,
Why, is it over I think to myself,
Why did I just say that,
It's not over I take it back.

I scream when the door slams in my face,
i just want u to say you love me
say that you care
tell me you need me
hold me and tell me how u feel

It's over,
Is the only thing I said to you,
As the tears come down my face,
And the only thing I thought about was all the words,
That I never had a chance to say.
but i guess it wouldn't come out of my mouth if i knew you loved me as much as i love you