Abou+hinson

__**#1**__ "Poetry is the doorway to the soul." - Floria

__**#2**__ I was never afraid of speaking my mind. not that time I stubbled "When I grow up … " a shy kid had just gained the title. Room full of astronauts and princesses. a lonely pediatrician All eyes on me. still to the day I stubbled

I'm feeling this poem I like how you compared the class to princesses... how you called yourself a lonely pediatrician This stuck out I want you to go into more details on why are you shy And explain why you stubbled and what you did when that happend

Eyes open mind closed. The boots fall onto the floor and the man onto the bed Eyes closed mind open This is where all good lives Dreams, hopes, and faith rest along with the man His only reason to live. The reason for everyone to live. Concealed within it lives there until it dares to become reality but until then It lives there
 * __#3__**
 * Ode to Dreams **

+I really like it especially the first five lines ? I wonder if you can describe dreams with more objects

+i love your poem +the eyes open part is really good. ?i wonder if you could add more

I lived my 20s at 2 years old, the wiser man. We all get distracted, the question is, would you bounce back or bounce backwards stand for something or fall for anything can’t let the government tell me how my future looking Too proud to beg, sorry I’m trying to learn something new, trying to surround myself with people that inspire me remember the universe use to be innocent, now they just look at us crazy like immigrants don’t you know your imperfections is a wonderful blessing, from heaven is where you got it from man I gotta get down with God cause I got my sins up I roam with the heart of a violin, dont violate my patience I’m waiting
 * __#4__**
 * Found poem lines from Kendrick Lamar edited by abou hinson**

__**#5**__
 * "I was raised by ..."**

I was raised by the window looking as the trees speed up, I was raised by the stalking moon, I was raised by the sound of the engine in my sleep, I was raised by magicians, Dis and re-appearing at will , I was raised by the feel of different beds That old people smell The lone flicker of a lighter in the dark night. The feel of the plush robin The taste of those 3 rice cakes I was raised by the caring waters never harming me, allowing me to maneuver I was raised by the shadows shielding me until i shined I was raised by everyone I was raised by no one Raised by the ghosts and the magicians "Wa-lah" media type="file" key="I was raised by poem.m4a"

+ Really nice descriptions (good use of 5 senses) + Nice last lines ? I like the places where you have multiple lines between "I was raised by..." Can you add more to do this more often? ? Do you want to use this poem to get to multiple, different emotions and experiences?


 * __#6__**
 * Riff poem- line from Dreams Deferred by Langston Hughes**

What happens to a dream deferred? Dreams forgotten is a common occurrence. freely floating in a forgotten land, this is where the princesses and kings rule, Where the astronauts and spys explore, What happens to a dream deferred? what happens when we grow up? that is not the question, the question is what happens when a dream grows into a goal?