Maryam+Biuibrahim

A poet is, before anything else, a who is passionately in love with language, and poem can have an impact, but you can't expect an audience to understand all the nuances.

**My memory poem** I was 5 years old

I learned that I should not repeat what I hear outside at home.
+I like the repition of 'I + The sentences are short and to the point ?More imagery ?More description.

+Go technique of repeating I +Shows the story very clearly with short lines +I like the last line, it explains the whole poems and ties it together ?What was your sister's reaction whenyou called her that

**O****de to my Pen**

Thanks for being there for me.
+ Nice description and different parts

? Want to break this into stanzas? ? Any larger, deeper ideas that you want to bring in? About expression overall maybe?

+Nice decription I like the whole your hid in my books i guess you like to read. ?You said you give your pen to your friends then say you don't you should reread that ?What is the larger Idea

**Found poem :** **bully me .**

media type="file" key="I was raised by .m4a" width="312" height="45"
**I was raised by poem:** I was inspired by Barbie

I was changed by life !
+I like how you started off + I like how you go onto what specific things barbie had that you wanted +I like what the poem is about ? You ned=ed more metaphors and details ? You need to go onto more of the emotion of why you wanted to be baribie ? Talk more details on how it ruiend your life give examples ? Your a great writter so you can make this line I used to sleep thinking about being a Barbie girl in a Barbie word Better

+ Great descriptions! + Nice ending section -- I think you can continue to develop and strengthen this. ? Want to add more about the five senses? ? Want to try out a repeated line? (I was inspired by, I was changed by...)

It's over

Even as it comes out of my mouth, I can't understand what I am saying, I can't believe that I am saying it.

It's over,

I repeat it just for me to have an understanding, Why, is it over I think to myself, Why did I just say that, It's not over I take it back.

I scream when the door slams in my face, i just want u to say you love me say that you care tell me you need me hold me and tell me how u feel

It's over, Is the only thing I said to you, As the tears come down my face, And the only thing I thought about was all the words, That I never had a chance to say. but i guess it wouldn't come out of my mouth if i knew you loved me as much as i love you